“Here you sit, among the ashes of your own doing: of words never meant to be said… of actions never meant to be carried out… to exist within the scorched earth of your existence. To stay or to rise is to power all thine own.”
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with emotion once the breaking up is done, and you are left with little more than your own thoughts and your own time. In addition to the inevitable repair of broken things and hurt feelings, there is also the business of moving on. Sometimes, when we break away in a flurry of emotion, we ignore the loose ends with the hopes that they might fade away. We inevitably learn that they never do. We also learn that there is danger in carrying those same habits and assumptions into the next chapter our existence.
Carrying all that baggage becomes an unnecessary occupier of your time. The more likely ‘loose ends’ are to creep into your present space, the more time you likely spend in drama because of those loose ends. Drama can easily be classified as the ultimate time suck. It can be hard for us to admit is that we spend countless hours mired in drama because the feeling is familiar. It doesn’t matter how detrimental the drama might be… it’s the familiarity that keeps us there, and that attachment prevents us from growth. The more we recognize our attraction to drama with people, places and things… the more we tell ourselves the truth about what we are comfortable with, and what we are willing to do to reclaim our time and our spirits.
Part of that attachment might leave us feeling like there’s not enough time in the day to to everything. We wake up with anxiety of facing what should be done; we go to sleep with anxiety about what we haven’t done. Here’s the reality: we all get the SAME 24 HOURS IN EVERY DAY. In this way, we are equal. With that knowledge, you have the power to lay out those hours, decide what is productive and what is prohibitive, and choose to arrange those hours in a matter that is most beneficial to your existence. This works whether you are dealing with partners or spouses, parents, children, multiple jobs… ect. Once you remove the likelihood of time happening to you (as in losing track of it), you give yourself permission to decide how you’ll spend each moment to facilitate growth and productivity in every aspect of your life. Time is a gift. Either you use it or you waste it. The choice is yours.
You can maximize your time by laying out a budget, much as you would a spending budget. This might mean you have to work backwards, by determining honestly (not figuratively) how many hours you need to function. There is no prize for existing on 4 hours of sleep and half a gallon of coffee. It might be best to leave that ‘beast mode’ illusion to the delusional, lest you pay with your personal health and well-being. Running yourself into the ground now could mean sacrificing countless time and money to addressing health issues later. Everyone has a general idea how how many hours of sleep they need to be the most productive over a long period of time. For the average human, that averages between 6-9 hours of continuous rest. Resting is not a waste of time. The more satisfying your rest, the more likely you can achieve more during your waking hours.
Once you’ve determined how much time you need to complete each thing in your average day, decide what is non negotiable. For some of us, that’s rest. For others, it’s meditation or exercise. Once you determine what needs to happen no matter what, stack ther other activities in order of importance. Obligations like going to work or taking children to school will obviously rank higher on that list. The more you gain a ‘tangible’ outlook on how you spend your time, the more you’ll be able to manipulate that time to help you reach your highest potential. You can use this same idea to set weekly, monthly or even annual deadlines, to help you reach larger and larger goals.
When you’re ready to grow into new spaces (start a business, change career direction, move into a new family chapter), you can look at your tangible list and find out what you’re ready to detach from. This will help you make space for new people, places and things. The more you work to practically reclaim your time, the less you’re likely to waste it, or feel helpless about it slipping away.